Journal 8/18
Many think I have a sexual problem but yet every man tells me that it is only by the grace of God that they are not sitting where I am. Many things make up my fall. Though I do not seek to excuse my actions I only desire to explain them and help others from suffering my consequences. 1) Now walking in the Lord and being apart from Christ ruins and losses the soul to the lying pleasures of this world. We were meant to seek pleasures and if not found in Christ it will be found and rest in the world- but the latter leads to destruction. 2) if not abiding in Christ then your home does not abide in Him either and a man who is not happy in his home will not be faithful to it either in time, attention, or with his partner. lastly, this prepares his way to destruction and since he is the figurehead of the family- they will fall with him and he brings difficulty to them as well. But there is hope for this man because God is a faithful God and those who repent will be forgiven and will find help in this time of great need. Help to be courageous to endure what consequences that come, help to restore, in Christ, what was lost, and redemption and a new heart to live by. God has a hold of a truly repentant man even though those close to him doubt. The fruit of repentance will be seen over time and much Glory will be given to God for his mighty work that He has done thorugh this wretched sinner.
The worst affect of my sin:
The greatest affect of my sin and the horrible condition that it causes is the disgust that it has bred in the broken image of the gospel which it has communicated to the public. I have tainted a poor view of Christianity this is the greatest offense and perpetration that I have allowed and caused- the gospel to be disgraced. This causes a deep hate for my sin. Though my wife, sweet and precious to me and gift from God, fades in comparison to the preciousness of the gospel. My gravest sin is the denial of the gospel and the spreading of false teaching with my actions. But the gates of hell will not prevail and no man can destroy the gospel. God, after I have been humbled, will honor himself in me once again.
